What it is
Sibling prep is getting an older child ready for a baby who will take your lap. A toddler and a newborn is one of the harder pairs. A child under three cannot picture time, or a baby who does nothing. The new big sister or brother will have feelings about this. Most are normal.
What's typical
Children under three do best when told late, in the third trimester, when the belly is obvious. Older children can be told earlier and given jobs. After birth, some backsliding is expected: potty accidents, night waking, baby talk, hitting. The AAP calls this common and short, usually a few weeks to a couple of months.
What's known
Child development research points to a few things: keep the older child's routine, protect ten minutes a day of one-on-one time, and let them help. Many cultures hand the older child to a grandparent for the first weeks, and call that a gift to the child.
What helps
- Read picture books about a new baby for weeks before.
- Meet the baby with your arms free and the baby in a bassinet.
- Make big changes, like a new bed or potty training, two months before or after, not during.
- Line up a grandparent or friend for the older child during the birth.
When to call someone
- Nowthe baby is hit on the head, limp, or hard to wake. Call the pediatrician or 911.
- Todaythe older child stops eating or sleeping, or backsliding comes with fever.
- At your next visitregression past a couple of months, or an older child who seems sad most days.
Who helps
Tools: Postpartum Prep Checklist · Meal Train
Related
- Older siblings and the new babySupport, Home, and Village
- Going home: the car ride and the first eveningBirth and the First Days
- The hospital stay: what happens, what to askBirth and the First Days
- Writing a postpartum plan (the plan that matters more)Getting Ready for Birth
What mothers here say
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Experiences and questions are their authors' own, not reviewed advice. The topic's steward lists the ones that help most in a credited digest once there is one. Unusual experiences stay, with a note.
Sources
- American Academy of Pediatrics — Preparing your family for a new baby
- Zero to Three — Welcoming a new baby: helping your toddler adjust
Sources are named, not yet linked. The steward verifies each one and adds the link.
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