What it is
Baby blues is the name for the crying for no reason, the day 3 crash, and the weepy, raw feeling that lands a few days after birth. You may feel happy one minute and in tears the next. You may feel tender, short-fused, or unable to sleep even when the baby sleeps.
It happens to most mothers. Estimates run from 50 to 80 in 100. The main cause is the steep hormone drop after the placenta leaves. Hormones fall fast in the first three days. Add no sleep, a sore body, and a brand-new job, and tears make sense.
The blues are not an illness. They are not a sign that you are a bad mother or that you will get depressed. They are a common part of the first two weeks.
What's typical
The blues usually start on day two or three, often as your milk comes in. They peak around day three to five. For most mothers they are gone by day ten, and for nearly all by two weeks. You can still enjoy the baby in between the waves. You can still sleep when you get the chance. Crying spells are short and pass on their own. That pattern, waves that pass, is what sets the blues apart from postpartum depression.
What's known
ACOG and the American Psychological Association describe the blues as common and short-lived. The two-week line is the one most providers use. Feelings that last past two weeks, or get worse instead of better, are screened as possible postpartum depression. Many cultures expect this fragile window and build rest around it. Chinese zuo yuezi and Latin American la cuarentena both keep the mother home, fed, and warm during these days.
What helps
- Let yourself cry. It passes faster when you stop fighting it.
- Sleep in any stretch you can get. Hand the baby to someone for one feed or one nap.
- Eat something warm every few hours. Low blood sugar makes the dips deeper.
- Tell your partner or a friend that this is day-three crying and it is normal. Saying it out loud helps.
- Get outside for ten minutes of daylight if you can.
- Lower the bar. Visitors, thank-you notes, and the house can wait.
When to call someone
- Nowany thought of hurting yourself or the baby. Call or text 988, or call 911. Help is real and fast.
- Nowyou have not slept in two days, feel confused, or see or hear things others do not. This can be postpartum psychosis, which is an emergency.
- Todayyou cannot stop crying for hours, cannot eat, or feel no interest in the baby at all.
- At your next visitthe blues are still going past two weeks, or they are getting heavier instead of lighter.
Who helps
Tools: Postpartum Prep Checklist · My Birth Team
Related
- Postpartum depressionPostpartum: Mind
- When your milk comes inFeeding Your Baby
- Sleep deprivation: what it does and how to survive itPostpartum: Your Body
- The first 40 daysSupport, Home, and Village
- When to get help, and who to call tonightPostpartum: Mind
- Night sweats, chills, and the hormone dropPostpartum: Your Body
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Sources
- American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists — Postpartum depression FAQ
- American Psychological Association — Postpartum depression: baby blues or something more
- Postpartum Support International — Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders overview
- NHS — Feeling depressed after childbirth
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