Telling people: when and how

There is no right time for announcing a pregnancy. The 12 week rule is a custom, not a law, and telling work has its own rules.

What it is

Announcing a pregnancy is a choice about who knows and when. The "12 week rule" is the custom of waiting until the first trimester ends. It exists because about 8 in 10 miscarriages happen before 12 weeks. Telling work is a separate question with legal weight.

What's typical

Many mothers tell a partner and one or two people right away. Most tell wider family between 10 and 14 weeks, often after a scan. Some tell early on purpose, so those people would know if a loss happened. Work is often told between 12 and 20 weeks, or when the belly tells first. In California there is no date by which you must tell an employer. You do need to give notice, 30 days when you can, before pregnancy disability leave.

What's known

California law bars employers from treating you worse for being pregnant. The Civil Rights Department enforces it. Federal law does the same for larger employers. The 12 week custom can leave a mother alone with a loss nobody knew about. Telling early does not change any outcome for the baby.

What helps

Decide with your partner who is in the "we would want them to know either way" circle.
Tell work in writing, with your rough due date. Keep a copy.
Have one sentence ready for questions you do not want to answer.

When to call someone

Nowbleeding with pain in early pregnancy. Go in, whoever knows or does not.
Todayyour employer threatens your job or hours after you tell them. Call the Civil Rights Department.
At your next visitask for a letter with your due date if work wants one.

Who helps

OB-GYNMidwife Family and community resources Perinatal therapist

Tools: Due Date Calculator

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Sources

California Civil Rights Department — Your rights and obligations as a pregnant employee notice
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists — Early pregnancy loss FAQ
Emily Oster — Expecting Better, chapter on miscarriage risk by week

Sources are named, not yet linked. The steward verifies each one and adds the link.

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