In plain words
Social comparison is the way people judge themselves by looking at others. Psychologists describe it as a normal habit, and it happens with friends, family, and strangers. It becomes a concern when the comparison is with idealized images, such as edited photos of postpartum bodies or seemingly perfect routines. A mother may notice she feels worse after scrolling, or that she measures her baby's progress against someone else's. In pregnancy and after birth, these comparisons often focus on weight, shape, feeding, and sleep. Comparison is not the same as envy, though the two can feel alike. Some mothers say that limiting time on feeds, or talking about the comparisons with someone they trust, changes how they feel.
The deeper version
Social comparison theory (Festinger, 1954) holds that people evaluate their abilities and attributes by reference to others. Upward comparison with idealized targets is linked, in experimental and survey research, to lower body satisfaction and lower mood. The tripartite influence model (Thompson and colleagues, 1999) identifies media, peers, and family as the main sources of appearance pressure, with appearance comparison and internalization of ideals proposed as the main pathways. Postpartum studies extend this to infant feeding, sleep, and parenting, with less consistent evidence. Effects depend on whether targets seem attainable and on individual vulnerability, such as prior body dissatisfaction.
Where it comes up
- Your changing body and how you feel about itPregnancy: Mind and Life
- Guilt, comparison, and the phonePostpartum: Mind
What mothers here say about social comparison
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Sources
- Festinger L — A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations 1954
- Thompson JK et al. — Exacting Beauty: Theory, Assessment, and Treatment of Body Image Disturbance, 1999