In plain words
Continuing bonds is a view of grief that says it is normal to stay connected to someone who has died. A parent may talk to a baby who died, keep a picture, mark birthdays, or carry the baby's name into daily life. This connection can change over time. For a long time, many people believed grief should end with letting go. Newer research shows that many mothers and families keep a bond and still live full lives. This is not the same as being stuck. If grief feels too heavy to carry, a perinatal bereavement counselor or the at 1-800-944-4773 can help.
The deeper version
The continuing bonds model, introduced by Klass, Silverman, and Nickman (1996), reframes ongoing symbolic and emotional connection to the deceased as a normative feature of adaptive grieving rather than failure to detach. The model is supported by qualitative and longitudinal work in bereaved parents and spouses, and it sits alongside dual process models of grief. In perinatal loss, continuing bonds practices include naming, memorial objects, and ritual, and they are associated in some studies with less distress when they are chosen by the bereaved parent rather than imposed. Critics note that the evidence is largely observational and that some forms of can be associated with prolonged distress. , now in the DSM-5-TR, describes the clinically significant end of the spectrum.
Where it comes up
What mothers here say about continuing bonds
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Sources
- Klass D, Silverman PR, Nickman SL — Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief, 1996
- American Psychiatric Association — DSM-5-TR: prolonged grief disorder, 2022