What it is
Dad depression, or paternal postpartum depression, is real. So is depression or anxiety in a non-birthing partner of any gender. About 1 in 10 fathers meet the bar for depression in the first year. When the mother is depressed, the number roughly doubles. It often looks different: a partner withdrawn, a partner anxious, more hours at work, more drinking, more anger, little sadness on the surface.
What's typical
The peak is three to six months after birth, later than for mothers. Signs: short temper, pulling away, working late, numbing out with screens or alcohol, and feeling like a spare part. Most partners say nothing. Most are never screened.
What's known
Postpartum Support International runs a help line and groups for dads and partners. The AAP asks pediatricians to screen fathers too. A 2010 review in JAMA set the 1 in 10 figure. The same help works: talk therapy, medication if a provider suggests it, sleep, and real jobs with the baby.
What helps
- Say it to one person. 'I am not okay.' The mother, a friend, the pediatrician.
- Take one night shift or one solo outing with the baby a week. Confidence comes from doing.
- Call the PSI HelpLine, 1-800-944-4773. Ask for the dads and partners coordinator.
When to call someone
- Nowthoughts of ending your life. Call or text 988. Men call too.
- Todaydrinking or anger is scaring the family, or you cannot get out of bed.
- At your next visitlow or on edge for weeks. Your own doctor or the baby's pediatrician can refer you.
Who helps
Tools: Birthworker Directory · My Birth Team
Related
- What a partner does in the first weeksSupport, Home, and Village
- Postpartum depressionPostpartum: Mind
- Your relationship after the babyPostpartum: Mind
- When to get help, and who to call tonightPostpartum: Mind
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Sources
- Postpartum Support International — Help for dads and partners
- JAMA (Paulson and Bazemore) — Prenatal and postpartum depression in fathers and its association with maternal depression: a meta-analysis
- American Academy of Pediatrics — Fathers' roles in the care and development of their children clinical report
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