In plain words
Intensive mothering is a cultural ideal about what a good mother does. It says mothers should put children first, study how to raise them, spend time and money on them, and find their deepest satisfaction in caring for them. Sociologist Sharon Hays named the idea in 1996. The ideal is widespread, and it can make everyday choices feel like tests. Many mothers feel guilty when they cannot meet it, and some feel judged by others who meet it in a different way. Intensive mothering is not a rule, and it is not the only way to be a good parent. It is a set of expectations, and they can be questioned. Naming it can help a mother see which pressures are her own and which were handed to her.
The deeper version
Intensive mothering, named by Hays (1996, The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood), describes an ideology of child-centered, expert-guided, emotionally and financially demanding care, with the mother as the primary and often sole caregiver. Hays argued that this ideology conflicts with the economic demands of paid work that many mothers face, which can produce guilt that is culturally sanctioned. Research on the concept draws on sociology and psychology, including , self-discrepancy theory, and the psychology of guilt and shame. Measurement varies across studies, and effects on mood are mostly studied through correlation. Cross-cultural variation in the ideal is well documented.
Where it comes up
- Guilt, comparison, and the phonePostpartum: Mind
- Asking for help, and letting it inSupport, Home, and Village
- The mental loadPostpartum: Mind
- Loneliness and isolationPostpartum: Mind
What mothers here say about intensive mothering
No one has posted under this term yet.
Sources
- Hays S — The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood. Yale University Press, 1996